Those Phrases shared by My Parent Which Saved Me as a Brand-New Father

"In my view I was merely in survival mode for a year."

Ex- Made In Chelsea cast member Ryan Libbey expected to handle the difficulties of being a father.

But the reality rapidly proved to be "utterly different" to what he pictured.

Severe health issues surrounding the birth resulted in his partner Louise admitted to hospital. All of a sudden he was forced into becoming her chief support in addition to taking care of their infant son Leo.

"I was doing all the nights, every nappy change… every stroll. The role of both mum and dad," Ryan stated.

Following eleven months he reached burnout. It was a conversation with his father, on a bench in the park, that made him realise he couldn't do it alone.

The direct statement "You are not in a healthy space. You need support. How can I support you?" created an opening for Ryan to speak honestly, look for assistance and find a way back.

His situation is far from unique, but infrequently talked about. While people is now more comfortable discussing the stress on mums and about postpartum depression, far less attention is paid about the difficulties fathers encounter.

Asking for help is not weak to request support'

Ryan believes his struggles are symptomatic of a broader failure to talk between men, who still internalise damaging perceptions of what it means to be a man.

Men, he says, often feel they must be "the rock that just gets hit and stays upright with each wave."

"It is not a show of failure to request help. I didn't do that fast enough," he adds.

Clinical psychologist Dr Jill Domoney, a specialist who studies mental health surrounding childbirth, says men can be reluctant to admit they're having a hard time.

They can feel they are "not justified to be requesting help" - particularly ahead of a mother and child - but she emphasises their mental health is just as important to the household.

Ryan's chat with his dad gave him the opportunity to take a respite - taking a couple of days away, away from the domestic setting, to see things clearly.

He understood he had to make a change to pay attention to his and his partner's emotional states alongside the logistical chores of looking after a newborn.

When he opened up to Louise, he saw he'd overlooked "what she needed" -reassuring touch and hearing her out.

'Parenting yourself

That insight has transformed how Ryan views being a dad.

He's now composing Leo regular notes about his journey as a dad, which he wishes his son will see as he grows up.

Ryan hopes these will enable his son to better grasp the vocabulary of feelings and interpret his parenting choices.

The notion of "self-parenting" is something musician Professor Green - also known as Stephen Manderson - has also experienced deeply since fathering his son Slimane, who is now four years old.

As a child Stephen lacked consistent male guidance. Even with having an "wonderful" connection with his dad, deep-held emotional pain caused his father had difficulty managing and was "coming and going" of his life, complicating their bond.

Stephen says suppressing emotions caused him to make "terrible actions" when in his youth to change how he felt, turning in alcohol and substances as a way out from the pain.

"You find your way to things that aren't helpful," he notes. "They can short-term modify how you feel, but they will eventually cause more harm."

Tips for Coping as a First-Time Parent

• Open up to someone - if you feel swamped, tell a friend, your partner or a professional what you're going through. Doing so may to lighten the load and make you feel less isolated.
• Keep up your interests - make time for the activities that helped you to feel like you before becoming a parent. Examples include exercising, socialising or gaming.
• Look after the body - nutritious food, getting some exercise and when you can, getting some sleep, all are important in how your mental state is doing.
• Meet other parents in the same boat - listening to their journeys, the challenges, and also the good ones, can help to put into perspective how you're feeling.
• Know that seeking help isn't failing - looking after you is the best way you can support your family.

When his father subsequently died by suicide, Stephen expectedly had difficulty processing the passing, having been out of touch with him for years.

In his current role as a parent, Stephen's committed not to "repeat the pattern" with his boy and instead give the stability and nurturing he did not receive.

When his son starts to have a tantrum, for example, they practise "releasing the emotion" together - processing the emotions constructively.

Both Ryan and Stephen state they have become better, healthier men because they confronted their pain, transformed how they talk, and figured out how to control themselves for their kids.

"I am now more capable of… dealing with things and managing things," states Stephen.

"I expressed that in a note to Leo recently," Ryan shares. "I said, at times I think my role is to guide and direct you how to behave, but in reality, it's a dialogue. I am discovering as much as you are in this journey."